April 07, 2016

Bar the dance - Bharat Mata ki Jai -- so goes the going in Maharashtra

The Times of India

Bar the dance: If men want chhee chhee titillation should they go to a nunnery?

April 7, 2016, 2:00 am IST in Erratica | 3rd Edit | TOI

So upright, and uptight, you are, CM-ji. In this whole week, you are working overtime to make Maharashtra maha again. You are not bothering your head with such small small issues like falling water and power supply. You are worrying about big big crises like falling patriotism and public morals. Kaay kamaal kelit, Fadnavis saheb. In just one week, you have so nobly forced us to say ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ and ‘Bar-at Beti ko Bye’. You are the saviour of Mother India and the destroyer of the dance bars which exploit her daughters. Your Dilli-jis should give you a Maharashtriya Seva medal, or at least save-a you from the meddle of that Uddhav. He thinks state is his father’s property, or wot?
Okay, you had no choice but to follow court orders and reopen dance bars. But that does not mean you are going to let them shake aapla Maharashtra to its foundations by forcing innocent girls to – what they call it? Ho, ‘shake their booty’.
Yes, there is a place for everything, but how any logical person can say dance bar is the place for titillation? Those Topaz-Shopazes must arouse only national pride with Bharata Natyam, etc. CM-Sir, you are so wise not to waste time on farmer suicides, pollution, rapacious builders and raped women. Your 101% priority has to be the bill being drafted by a committee of MLAs; nothing is of greater state importance than finding definitions for ‘obscene dance’. Means, you have to ‘protect the dignity of women in hotels, bars and restaurants’, no? Simply ignore those who are khaali-pili bom maroing, and asking bakwas questions like ‘What about protecting women’s dignity in their own homes?’ How that is your business?
Your business is to ensure that dance bars are not the place where adult men can continue to watch dancers making ‘sexually suggestive moves’. That’s okay only in films and TV shows which are watched goggle-eyed by whole families – and whose jhatka-matka is so excitedly copied by Mummy-Masi in their kitty party ‘Mujra Mornings’, or even by our cute little Pinky.
If grown men want titillation, why they should go to dance bars? If they want real obscenity, let them watch ‘scamtily’ dressed politicians stripping the exchequer.
Alec Smart said: “Panama has lathered up the world. But our money launderers are seldom sent to the cleaners.”