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October 01, 2007

THE NEW CONGRESS GODS!

Goan Observer, Panjim, Sep 29 - Oct 5, 2007

[This is the polemical first half of an article written in the context of local Goan politics. The second half of this article, which is the local context, is not included.]

RAJAN NARAYAN

The Congress Party has always sought to appease every god, but it is now worrisome that they are falling at the feet of the devil’s assurors.

THE CONGRESS party has always prided itself on being a secular party. This does not mean that the Congress party is anti-religion. On the contrary, this means that the Congress party, or at least Congress politicians, believe in keeping all the gods happy. Whether they are Hindu gods or Muslim gods or Christian gods or Sikh gods or Buddhist gods or even Parsi gods. Congress politicians compete with each other to pay homage to all the gods. Not necessarily because they are all very religious, but because they do not want to antagonise the followers and the devotees of any of the gods. Which is why the Congress President, Sonia Gandhi, and other senior Congress leaders like the Science and Technology Minister, Kapil Sibal, were so upset because the Minister for Culture, Ambika Soni, committed the blasphemy of permitting the Archaeological Survey of India to file an affidavit insisting that there was no historical evidence that Shri Ram ever existed.

Congress leaders are extremely religious. Or at least believe in being seen as extremely religious. Right from the Congress President, Sonia Gandhi, to the lowest functionary in the party. Congress leaders make it a point to visit and offer prayers at every temple, mosque or church. They do not limit themselves to visiting and offering prayers at every temple, mosque and dargah. They also do not fail to pay their respects to every godman, whether it is the Shankaracharya or the Sai Baba or the Catholic and Muslim clergy. They pray to all the gods before every election to bless the party and the candidate. After they are elected to power they go back to all the gods and all the godmen and all the godwomen to thank them for their victory in the elections. And pray for offices of profit.

SUPREME DEITY

THE Congressmen and Congresswomen do not limit themselves to praying to all the religious gods and all the godmen and the godwomen. For Congressmen and Congresswomen, the supreme deity is not Lord Ram or the Prophet Mohammed or Lord Jesus Christ or Lord Buddha or Lord Mahavira or Guru Govind Singh. The supreme deity of all Congressmen is goddess Sonia Gandhi. Because the fate of Congressmen depends not only on Lord Ram or Lord Ganesh or Lord Jesus Christ or Prophet Mohammed, but more importantly on goddess Sonia Gandhi. Because it is Sonia Gandhi who decides whether the Congressmen or Congresswomen will get the party ticket to contest the election. It is Sonia Gandhi who decides which Congress MP will be inducted into the cabinet and what portfolio he or she will be given. It is Sonia Gandhi who decides which Congress MLA will be “unanimously” elected as the Congress Legislative Party chief, who is automatically anointed the chief minister.

In all - if not most – religions, you cannot approach God directly. God has his agents. To please the gods and get their benediction, you have to please the bhatjis and the purohits and the maulanas and the parish priests, who see themselves as intermediaries between devotees and gods. The presumption being that the priests of every religion are closer to god than the common man and know best what will please the gods. So in everyday life the aam aadmi seeks the assistance of the priest and the maulanas and the purohits to help them seek the blessings of the god. Presumably the priests have special knowledge and expertise on what pleases the gods, and know the best way of persuading them to shower their benedictions on the aam aadmi.

GODS’ AGENTS

AS in the case of the religious gods, the secular gods also have their own agents. Some appointed by the secular gods. And some who are self-appointed and project themselves as enjoying the confidence of the secular gods. For instance, Congressmen and Congresswomen who wish to seek and receive favours from the Supreme Goddess of the Congress party have to go through the general secretaries of the All India Congress Committee in charge of their particular states because Goddess Sonia Gandhi does not entertain direct petitions. But it is not only the Congress general secretaries who have to be propitiated to secure favours from goddess Sonia Gandhi. Like all gods, Sonia Gandhi also has some close personal confidants. [Snip]